Friday, May 27, 2011


Since my last post a lot has happened. My relationship ended. I moved back in with my father. And craziness has ensued. I have had my heart crushed and any hopes for a friendship with my now ex shattered. Deceit, ddishonesty and stupidity have plagued my life. I wish so bad that I could have my old relationship back, with the man I knew and loved. I don't think he exists anymore though...
So what have I learned through this hardship? That we don't know anything. Everything is subject to change and everything changes. Do not be cocky about or take for granted what you think you know. I also learned the importance of real friends and family. I have a teeny family and only a couple close friends. But they have given me the power to change my life. They comforted me, moved me back to my dads quickly and have surrounded me in profound love. I would be nothing without them. The third thing I now know is just how strong I can be. I had to change the way I was looking at my bleak situation. Yes, it makes me sick and it makes me want to curl up in defeat and pain. But I wont. I can handle this. I am alive, I have things to be grateful for and I have so much love to give. Everything will be okay. Fall down seven times, stand up eight...right? :) Right.

I haven't been reading anything, and I know I won't make my 75 books in 2011 goal. But that's just fine. I'm finally getting to the point where I can read again without my mind wandering. I am not setting a new goal for now. Just taking it day by day. I will still update this blog once I begin to read more, but for now it's kind of hard to even think about.